1. Dread the date.
By dread, I don’t mean nerves. I mean, full-on anxiety attack. Cry. Feel nauseous. Think about “him”. Non-stop. Hope that by doing this, somehow, “he” will know. Wherever “he” is, “he” will know that you are over “him”. Why? Because you are going on a date.
2. Go to a place you’ve been before. With the person who broke you.
By doing this, you can ensure that the entire evening, you are remembering the date you went on before. You can replay that date in your mind, the one where electricity flew and you couldn’t wait for the dinner to be over so you could wrap yourselves up in the other. Sit across from your date, desperately searching for that same spark you felt before. Remember how the last time you were on a date here, you started off sitting across the table from each other, but halfway through, you moved so that you were next to each other. You always needed to be touching. Shiver at the thought of this person, the one who is sitting across from you now, touching you.
3. Drag the date out.
Keep it going. Don’t let it end when it should have (it probably shouldn’t have started). Search desperately for something. Go for a walk after dinner. Engage in awkward conversation. Recognize that while you think it’s awkward, he’s enjoying himself. Feel a bit of remorse for knowing that you’re leading this poor guy on.
4. Let him kiss you.
Not because you want to. Do it because you want to show yourself that you can, but also because you have no idea how to prevent it from happening. Don’t enjoy the kiss. Spend the entire time thinking about the electricity you felt when “he” used to kiss you, and how this feels nothing like that. Try not to let him see how painful this is, but hope, he senses it just a bit so that he stops.
5. Say you can’t wait to do it again. Then ignore his text messages.
This is pretty self-explanatory. By doing this, you will ensure that you don’t have to repeat the date, but feel absolutely terrible about yourself. You will also feel guilty for treating another human being like this because, really you wouldn’t want someone to do this to you, right?
6. Go home. Cry.
Cry it all out. Cry out all the memories that made this date even worse than it was. Cry because you let someone break you so badly that you can’t allow yourself to feel the slightest amount of fun. Cry because in the short time you were together, you made enough memories that could ruin pretty much every location in the city. Cry because “he” has no idea that you’re crying, and frankly, probably wouldn’t care. Cry because you aren’t as strong as you have always said you were.
Start playing the sad, breakup playlists you made shortly after the breakup (the ones you thought you were over listening to). Sing them while you cry. Continue crying for the next few evenings until your eyes have dried up.