At first, I sang the songs for you. But maybe now they’re for me. Maybe I was so busy wishing away the darkness from your world, that the darkness won in me.
I still wonder. Do you still hurt? Did you find someone? Did you find the piece of you that was missing for so long?
It wasn’t me. I wanted it to be me. I wanted so badly for me to fit into the hole that was inside of you, to complete you, make you whole. But it wasn’t. And I have no idea whether or not you’ve found that piece.
I haven’t. I’m still existing in a world where I’m always searching to find my missing piece. Hell, I traveled across oceans thinking that in the absence of you, I could find it. But no.
I haven’t felt anything since you. I haven’t had butterflies. I haven’t melted into another person since the last time I laid in your arms. I haven’t wanted to be someone’s everything since I tried so hard to be yours.
In the films, this would mean that you and I were destined for each other. That all my pain, all my searching, all of this would cease with some chance meeting between the two of us, resulting in fireworks and happily-ever-afters.
This isn’t a film. This is life. This is me, lost in a city that’s far away from you. This is you, there, home. With I-don’t-know-who doing I-don’t-know-what, without me.
I’m left with really no choices. I have to keep moving on. I have to forget you and I have to forget the moments we shared and the way that you made me feel. Maybe I need to come to terms with the fact that I may never feel that way again. It may have been my once-in-a-lifetime, but it was just the wrong time. And perhaps, I’ll go on, forever, with nothing but the memories we created together.
"Every night I close my eyes, and all my troubles fade. Every morning when I rise, I’m still sleeping in this bed I made"