Words from a late 20-something who is pretty sure she's screwing it all up.
The problem with moving forward is that when you stop looking to the past, the only direction you can look is forward, to the future, and sometimes, the future feels quite empty.
The past is filled with memories and people. It’s known, and although it can be sad and heart breaking, it’s safe.
The unknown is uncertain. If I’m no longer filling my thoughts with those from my past, what is left?
What am I left to dream about when all that I’ve known is over and done?
A city to myself seemed like a grand opportunity but it’s starting to feel like a vast, empty world filled with faceless people, busy with their own lives.
I too will become faceless in this crowd.
I thought that I could start fresh.
But after all this time,
what I have learned
is that I already know myself.
Who I am
was already good enough.
Reinvention was not needed.
And perhaps, this is my lesson.
A new city
Was maybe what it took,
for me to open my eyes
and fall in love with who I am
and not who I thought I should be.
You can get lost among
The crowds of people,
Lost and lonely,
They begin to convince you
that you are lost too, and
But you’ve done the search
and you’re on your way to
And when it came down to you or him, I wanted to be near you. I wanted to sit with you and hear you tell me I’m beautiful. I wanted to continue to discuss our imaginary future together. I wanted to pretend that it was all true and that we were in love. I wanted to believe that after everything was said and done, we’d be each others answers. But, we aren’t. Or at least, I’m not your answer.